“The Woman I Created”
I started reading Aneta Savova’s book on a sunny November Sunday, immediately after Women.Speak.Live Forum where I had bought it.
With cup of hot coffee in my hand and background of fragrance of apple cake with cinnamon I had just put into the oven. From the first pages I was enveloped by a feeling of peacefulness and authenticity which (I know as a person who had been writing for years) comes when you express yourself in written words and share your personal story… The way we communicate today due to the constant rushing, the huge amounts of information for processing and discussing almost doesn’t allow us to go below the surface – into the deep (where I usually find it most interesting), thus the written pages are like a gift through which I get in touch with unknown sides and experiences of the person who writes.
We all carry the dramas of our personal journeys, but few are brave enough to share it openly. I always respect such bravery as my own filter is still too narrow and I hold back too much (but this is a story for another time…).
Here are few of the pages with folded corners in which I identified myself:
“(…) Remember the feeling when despite the fear you make a step or two. It acts as a drug for self-confidence and lifting mountains.
“Remember, that if you are afraid and you don’t act – it’s not the end of the world. This doesn’t mean you are a looser, it only means that your boundaries are expanding and in this particular moment you are pushing them, thus your mentality needs to catch up. It takes time. Next time is going to be easier.
“I am afraid all the time. Sometimes the projects I am working on in my life are so big (and uncomfortable) I know I need time to grow up to them. And I wait, working in this direction. It requires a lot of patience, awareness and maturity to be able to wait.This is not laziness and is essentially different from procrastinating. Actually, it is not easy. But when I am afraid I tell myself: ‘Well, Aneta, can you die from this?’. Then I either act or I wait to grow up to action. Some women choose to blame themselves for not being brave enough or not doing enough to succeed, apparently following an accelerated and ambitious plan. What I can say is that you have a choice: to act, to wait and to prepare for action or to beat yourself up. It is a matter of choice.”
“To have your own, authentic voice means:
– to have the inner conviction that you have something to contribute to the conversation and your ideas are valuable;
– to express your opinion where it will have an impact or improve the quality of the discussion;
– to present yourself and your vision and to stand up for them.”
“There is one more reason why we don’t participate actively in the dialogue during business meetings, panel conferences, workshops or at the stage as presenters. When we take the floor we become visible and thus – vulnerable. The insecurity grows and all fears surface.And the strongest fear of every intelligent professional woman is not to make a fool of herself in front of others and to be criticized.”“A strong woman sees the path before her, the opportunities to change or create, to build up or help which are completely in accordance with her values and female nature. She bypasses the environment that is not healthy for her; she changes the rules that suffocate her and creates her own. Realizing the best she is capable of, a strong woman acquires authority, impact and leaves a footprint. In such context the concept of strength changes significantly, because it stays next to meaning, calling, desire, contribution, and not power, domination or control.”
The book is only in Bulgarian for now, but you never know.. 😉
